Irv, clean-up in Aisle 5!

I feel ya, Carlos. If those Gatorade coolers had been in my living room, I would have spanked them around too. Well actually I couldn't lift them. I've got what they call "the spaghetti arms". But while I can relate to rage blackouts, please don't hurt yourself as you are not only our ace but also our leading hitter -- are you kidding me with that .364?

Ugh, bad enough to have to watch the Cubs lose. But on Fox? That's like slowly ripping off the Band-Aid that's covering a festering sore on your hairy arm and grinding in the Morton's.

Fonzy… …racked up home run no. 15 today and was busy out there in left field with no problems to speak of, even on this gloriously sunny day in La-La Land. His charmingly cheerful face is also gracing the "Who's Hot" Fantasy Baseball page which always gives me a happy as I love his smile -- especially when it comes right after his home runs, which coincidentally I'm pretty fond of too!

For I am Jen and I have no shame. Who is that looking like a younger and yummier George Clooney? It's a freshly shaven Geo! Jenny like.

Tomorrow night's game is on ESPN. I wonder how many times they'll break the stunning revelation that this season marks 100 years since our last WS win? They're not the "worldwide leader in sports" for nothing, folks.

A real nail-grower

The good news? Tomorrow is a day game! The bad news? Shutout by the Dodgers. Well, mostly Kuroda. Unfortunately in a game that shows a run count of 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0 there isn’t a whole lot to blog about. Plus I'm wicked tired. I have only these three thoughts.

• Are we sure Micah can't pitch? Couldn’t we just try it?
• Yeah Jeff, it was a ball. But Fuke was safe.
• This is Los Angeles. You're seriously telling me they don't have any celebrities more glamorous than Larry King to show us?

And even in a shutout, we still need a silver lining in the form of… …going to Scott Eyre, who got us out of the 7th unscathed and gave us hope that we'd be bouncing back. False hope.

Time to catch up on the ZZZs lost this week due to midnight baseball games. Sweet dreams, Cubs fans.

Okay Kerry, Final Out - Take Three. And...Action!

We met the Dodgers back at their home turf after they slapped around (literally) the Rockies in Denver. I'm a big advocate of the basebrawl, if not to vent the players' frustrations then just for our shallow amusement. If only we could somehow get the players topless and oiled-up before the wrassling begins. (Oh don’t judge me men. After pouring my blood, sweat and tears into my new blog header and happily showing it to the first person I could -- a man -- his exact response to Cartoon Jen was, "Where's your jugs?" So I think I'm entitled to objectify a few baseball players. Yeah, that's right. Shut up and make me a sandwich.)

If I would have told you a year ago that Ryan Dempster would be a Godsend to our starting pitching this season, I think I would have been on the receiving end of a good old-fashioned bitchslap. Which is exactly what I wanted to dispense after our four-run lead dissolved.

A home run and game winning RBI for......as Kosuke said uh-uh (or whatever the Japanese equivalent is) to extra innings.

Raise your hand if you're starting to see Jimmy a little bluer with every game…

That's Kerry with a K. Refusing to just let the game end with a flyout, Kerry gained sole possession of the NL save leader in dramatic fashion - but you got it, Woody, and that's all I care about. (Granted I could be in bed right now instead of typing this and the stress probably took a year-and-a-half off my life...)

Me! Me! Me! You'll notice I finally updated the blog's crusty header. It was really hard to part with the giant pic from Rami's walkoff homer -- which still makes me smile every time I see it -- but it's almost a year old and hopefully we'll get another favorite moment from this year. Plus the cartoon me is adorable…even if her rack is lacking.

Draft shmaft.

Bob's mustache is safe...for now

…the Cubs lost a game much like this one -- heartbreaking, regretful and by one run. I honestly expected the Cubs to battle back in the ninth and win this. That's what they do, right?

Edmonds risked a broken hip making a sweet catch in the 6th saving the game…for the time being.

Tough loss for Teddy Bear… …who had some really good stuff tonight and at the very least rested a bullpen that's been rode hard and put away wet.

Missing the 1:20s…The midnight baseball games are starting to take their toll on me as I overslept by the tune of three hours this morning. Apparently my 15-pound furry alarm clock has no qualms about meowing me awake at 5:30 in the morning but when I'm still snoozing at 8:30 he's quiet as a mouse.

Okay Cubbies, you broke up the monotony of triumph. I'm ready to win the next nine again.

Game Two of the Pajama Series

They've created a monster. I'm just putting this out there -- I don’t know how I'm going to deal with a loss should it come (and if I get a say in it, I say it shouldn't -- 141-21 works for me). But that wasn't a problem tonight with another come-behind win securing the series in favor of the Cubs and giving the media one less thing to blow out of proportion as the Cubs proved they can, in fact, win on the road.

Geo was bound and determined to get a HR in Petco after the massive outfield brutally rebuffed him in the 4th...and he sure did in the top of the 6th to give the Cubs the lead as…

Question Mark? Nah. Mark voiced some concern on his blog (read it, it's awesome) about his strikeouts this year. He does have almost half as many Ks this season as he had all of last year. But he's also already racked up more than half of last year's HR count (including the beauty tonight) and it's only June. After the week he's given us, I sure don't have any complaints.

Sweet fancy Moses! Soriano put it in the upper deck at Petco Park. Just to put that in perspective for you, that'd be halfway to Milwaukee if it was at Wrigley. And just like in real life, sometimes you need insurance. Thanks Fonzy.

That makes 16 saves for the Woody -- tying him at first in the National League.

You know what a win tomorrow will mean for a certain dynamic duo! I don't know if he's already got a style in mind but if Len's looking for suggestions my vote is for Mutton Chops.

And let's hear it for the Cubs fans who, much like our team, dominate wherever we go. Nothing better than hearing "Let's Go Cubbies!" at the visitor's stomping grounds.

Roster shuffle: The Power of Hoff was sent down to expand the burnt-out bullpen. Understandable but still unfortunate. I'm sure it won't be long before we see the Torrential Texan again -- maybe even as a DH in IL play if Daryle isn't back.

Up Late for Win # 8

Since this game didn't get started until 9 pm (Central Standard Time, of course) it gave me time to watch another game. I chose the Reds/Phillies game as I'm hoping to catch KGJ's 600…and I love all the cheesesteak shots from Great American Ball Park. But mostly Junior. No such luck though as he was MIA tonight. Anyway, back to more pressing matters…trying to force myself to stay awake for the 9:05 first pitch. I kid. I'm actually a night owl. (I'd schedule my work hours in the wee hours but due to my obsession with sunscreen, I've created a complexion that sparks rumors of vampirism and don't want to attract the pitchfork-wielding villagers with too much evening activity.) So nocturnal ninnies that we are, Wrigs and I were pumped at 9 pm for some baseball. (Yes, that's Wrigley pumped up.)

Carlos may not have had his best stuff on the mound tonight but he sure makes up for it at the plate with a single, a triple (!!!) and yes -- even bunted for a hit. And that triple tied the game to put us back in, making Big Z… Even on his "off nights" he's on.

Fuke stolen base! Number 5!

The only thing better than Jimmy's two doubles is the fact that the Padres and Cardinals paid for them.

Ryan is a Riot.

Rami being Rami: Did you "catch" that catch in the seats Rami made to get the 2nd out in the 7th? Amazing! He knew it was studly too -- fighting to hide a grin afterwards, as he is the more modest of the two Ramirez cousins.

Len and Bob will be growing facial hair and shaving facial hair (respectively) if the Cubs can make it to ten straight. If that isn't an incentive for a sweep Cubbies, I don’t know what is. Well except for maybe those giant paychecks and adoring fans.

Today marks the one-year anniversary of Sweet Lou's dirt-y ejection. (Thought we might get an encore tonight with some of the questionable calls but Lou was on his best behavior.) Good times…but I'll take this year's tranquil wins over last year's riotous losses.

Maybe we should just leave the W flag up permanently?

Well I officially have to make good on my moratorium vis-à-vis Sean Gallagher and watermelon-smashing jokes since he was looking goooood today as he got his third win!

Is Jimmy Edmonds heating up? Looks like! Let's hope so as we head to San Diego. (But please, Mr. Edmonds, save some of that vengeance for the July 4th series against you-know-who!)

Lou had to handcuff D-Lee to the bench to force him to take a day of rest but Micah held down the fort at first.

Todd Helton and his big ol' clown feet stomped on DeRosa's digits but it was nothing a little Band-Aid couldn’t fix. Mark is Jersey-tough.

Aramis Ramirez… …went 3 for 3 today putting his average at .313. And…got an RBI which put him back in the lead for team RBIs -- 39 -- as Geovany Soto is nipping at his heels with 38. (A little friendly competition never hurt anybody.)

Fourteen saves for Woody! And I love that postgame wave to the crowd with his glove!

This is what you call a good week. Check that, an amazing week. They come home and win. And win and win and win and win and win and win. And as we head out, I'm making a daring prediction that we're taking this momentum and rocking the road series too. That's right. You heard it here first, folks.